... and all through the pubs,
not a creature was sleeping in the pubs or the clubs.
The stockings were on or the legs were plain bare,
In the hope that the taxi would not soon be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While others drank alcohol that messed with their heads.
And girls in short skirts and red santa hats,
Men with beer bellies were looking quite fat.
When over at the bar there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter.
Away went the coat as the man tried to flash,
Tore off his clothes 'til the barman gave him a bash.
The revellers laughed and carried on drinking,
Gave him a look to say 'What was he thinking?'
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a fluffy white jumper, with a brown fluffy reindeer.
With a little rude joke at the wearers expense,
I knew from his look he was feeling quite tense,
More often than not he got the mad gift,
From an elderly aunt or other relative.
He just did not know how to say no,
That he wouldn't even wear it in the cold snow.
Come January 1st on a cold New Years Day,
The jumper would sell for a penny on Ebay.
And this my dear friend is a cautionary tale,
Of just how badly one's fashion sense can fail.
Remember when drinking mulled wine and beer,
Do not wear an outfit that anyone will fear.
He sprang to his feet, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all walked from the 'Rose and the thistle'.
But I heard him exclaim, as he walked out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"
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