Curry Night - mares!

Haven't been writing for a few days. I have been in a wine and chocolate induced coma! Spent most of boxing day drinking straight spirits with the family... as you do!

Went out for a curry with family last night (as if we hadn't inhaled enough calories already) as no one wanted to cook. Going out where my parents live is always interesting... Scraped back hair and scrunchies are almost compulsory. I'm waiting for the council to bring it in soon, or they'll tax you!

Also saw lots of sportswear being worn out again. Almost baseball jumpers... in fact that is how I would describe them, I'm not sure if that's what they actually are though. When did it become acceptable to wear socks over tracksuit bottoms or leggings? I mean really? Half of them weren't even nice or clean socks which is just disgusting! I think I will have to write to the council of this area and suggest mirrors for all. I mean they give away free computers at schools, (my sister got one), and no this doesn't count the ones the children steal and sell 'down the market'. It would allow people to see what they look like and as most of them have no job they can spend some time thinking about how to improve their look on a budget. I certainly have to look good on a budget so why can't every one else?

Twas the night before christmas...

... and all through the pubs, 
not a creature was sleeping in the pubs or the clubs. 
The stockings were on or the legs were plain bare,
In the hope that the taxi would not soon be there.


The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While others drank alcohol that messed with their heads.
And girls in short skirts and red santa hats,
Men with beer bellies were looking quite fat.


When over at the bar there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter.
Away went the coat as the man tried to flash,
Tore off his clothes 'til the barman gave him a bash.

The revellers laughed and carried on drinking,
Gave him a look to say 'What was he thinking?'
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a fluffy white jumper, with a brown fluffy reindeer.


With a little rude joke at the wearers expense,
I knew from his look he was feeling quite tense,
More often than not he got the mad gift,
From an elderly aunt or other relative.

He just did not know how to say no,
That he wouldn't even wear it in the cold snow.
Come January 1st on a cold New Years Day,
The jumper would sell for a penny on Ebay.


And this my dear friend is a cautionary tale,
Of just how badly one's fashion sense can fail.
Remember when drinking mulled wine and beer,
Do not wear an outfit that anyone will fear. 


He sprang to his feet, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all walked from the 'Rose and the thistle'.
But I heard him exclaim, as he walked out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

JML Magic Barf... Sorry ... Scarf

 JML Magic Scarves!!!!!! 

My Nan has been sporting one and they are so ugly. Hers was green and looked like she had Oscar the grouch from Sesame street round her neck!! The only magic thing about them is that people will pay for them! You'd have to give me money to think about wearing one! 
If at all interested in looking stupid you can wear an Oscar hat...
http://www.polyvore.com/oscar_grouch_flatbill_hat/thing?id=7622941

My town centre...

Just a short one today, lots of christmassy things to do! (I am aware christmassy probably isn't a real word yet but I'm sure it will be soon.)

Staying at my parents over Christmas and went into town with my Mum today. The area I'm from is quite a 'deprived' area, although I myself am not deprived, and I don't see this as an excuse to look awful. Granted you won't look 'Red Carpet', but then who does? I know I don't look glam when popping into superdrug. Do you?

Many interesting outfits were spotted, there was some McKenzie tracksuits, greased back hair, scrunchies!, tracksuits, slippers, tracksuits and dirty tracksuits. I had almost forgotten tracksuits were worn in public on anyone not going to the gym, and some of these people were clearly not about to pump iron or jog round the park. To be fair the only exercise some of them were going to do today is run away from the police. (Genuinely. I am not being mean but there is a high crime rate in the area!)

Scrunchies though, are VILE!! As Carrie says in sex and the city, 'no self respecting woman would be caught dead in a scrunchie except when washing her face in the bathroom'. And to be honest i wouldn't even use it for that as I have no idea where you would even buy one!

Merry Christmas all xx

She had a bear on her head!!??

There I was minding my own business christmas shopping with my sister at New Look, Lakeside. Then all of a sudden there it was! A girl had a bear hat!! A bear on her head! What? I actually laughed out loud. What else are you supposed to do when a fully grown adult is wearing a furry white bear on their head? 


I understand the hats in river island are 'fashionable' and can see how they can be quirky/cute, not that I would wear one! This however was pretty much the same as the picture above (which is not mine - I googled it). If someone got a child's bear and attached longer arms (as ear covers), then wore it on their head then they would be classed as insane. The only difference with this hat is that someone has attached the arms for you, taken out the stuffing and made you pay to look completely foolish! If you're not a child don't do this! If you are a child... you may be able to get away with wearing a bear on your head if you're really cute.


I also saw a HUGE woman wearing my bed linen as a dress, Mum and daughter wearing matching Uggs, and the most hideous knitted jumper in Primark ever. Literally it looked like Edward Scissorhands had knitted it then threw up on it.
 xx


I have just thought about when an adult could wear the bear hat.... when you are really really drunk!

Xmas Work Party!

OMG! What a great night! Snowed loads though before and the party was in a building in the middle of a field. So out of 17 only 10 people turned up! Then as the snow carried on 3 left before main course and 4 left before 10pm. The remaining 3 of us were the best 3 anyway but had a bit of trouble getting a cab at 12:30am in the thick snow. Never mind I enjoyed it!


Outfits however were interesting! As I said before Red is not the best option for a Christmas party and even worse when it is called 'Red Hot'! There was a whole table of middle aged women wearing red dresses and the men had red ties and bow ties. How lazy! 


Some of the younger generation there also chose interesting outfits. I mean I know it was snowing outside but put wellies and warm clothes in the cloakroom (which was free and what I chose to do). One girl was wearing light grey jeggings, but I think jeggings are supposed to be tight and these were not. She could tuck in her skanky looking lacy top into her loose fitting jeggings. Her hair was that messy blonde style but basically she just looked like a tramp. I'd be too embarrassed to wear that personally!


Big news of the night was what the organiser of our party would be wearing. 2 years ago she arrived wearing a low cut dress and no bra and we saw everything!! She has surprisingly saggy boobs for a 38 year old. We have teased/mocked her about this ever since so we were all excited to see what she was wearing. This year wasn't too bad. She wore a tight stretchy backless dress over her fat tummy and no bra so you could see she was cold, but only if you looked halfway down her stomach as they were still saggy! Actually I suppose it was quite bad again!


At least I managed to feel stylish which is always nice...

Christmas

Yes I am well aware it is Christmas. I actually really enjoy counting down, buying presents and drinking mulled wine. In fact, I love Christmas. However, why do people insist on wearing some awful outfits to their work parties! My work party is happening tomorrow but I've been viewing some interesting outfits via Facebook. Here are some things one should aspire to and also avoid:

• Red. Think about it clearly. Do you really need to make Christmas the one time you wear red, look like everyone else and match your outfit with your face when you do something embarassing? I thought not! Also, no offence, but the older you are the more this should be avoided. Chances are you won't look like a sexy Mrs Santa.
• Sparkles - OK in moderation, but don't go over the top. Especially if, like the red, you don't normally wear sequins why would you now? Too many sparkles and sequins and you just look a bit like you're trying to be a Christmas tree. These should also be avoided on larger women as I feel they think they look lovely... personally they don't, and should stick to a one colour dress that highlights cleavage or other feature.
• 'Black trousers and a nice top'. What, you really couldn't think of anything more inventive? You just look like you couldn't be bothered and got slightly overdressed for work.
• A nice dress and black opaque tights are usually a lovely and safe option. You will look classy and the tights will keep you warm in the horribly snowy winter. Also the black tights allow for a shorter skirt/dress. Bare legs and short dress or skirts and you run the risk of looking cheap, especially if older than 25 and larger than a size 12.

Lets see what my work party with women of all shapes and ages will bring tomorrow...

Fingers crossed everyone will wear a bra this year!